🎤 + WINSTON CHURCHILL = COURAGE IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSING ENTHUSIASM.
HOW TO BUILD LASTING CONFIDENCE IN LEADERSIT’S TUESDAY, RIGHT?
If you have been following me for a while, you know that some words make me cringe.
Here’s a short list:
🚫 Unstoppable
🚫 Fearless
🚫 Conquer
🚫 Master
🚫 Overcome
These words do more damage to a leader’s confidence than they do good. Yes, they are really “eye-catching” and highly marketable words, but they don’t paint the picture of what a confident leader is.
HERE’S WHY IT MATTERS:
In his book Self-Esteem At Work, Nathanial Branden says this: “Low self-confidence can result in a fear of failure, which can manifest as stress, anxiety, and even depression. This can lead to a lack of innovation and risk-taking in the workplace due to employees’ fears of being criticized or failing.”
Confidence is more than a soft skill or a nice-to-have quality; it is a prerequisite for all leaders. And yet, we shame leaders when they don’t feel unstoppable, have fear, or have not “conquered/mastered/overcome” an obstacle.
Thus, we enter an endless shame loop. So, let’s break out of it.
🎤 MIC CHECK: A LEADER IS NOT FEARLESS
This week, I am challenging how leaders build confidence by reminding us the qualities of a great leader.
1. LEADERS NAVIGATE THE UNKNOWN.
There is nothing comfortable about the leadership journey. I often speak to leaders who are fearful of the future and afraid to admit that fear to others. It is important to remember that a leader, by definition, goes before others – they are the literal trailblazers. Their confidence is not in what will happen next but in their ability to respond to what happens next. That’s not to say there are no losses in the journey. But that leads us to the second point.
2. LEADERS TRANSFORM THEIR LOSSES
Daniel Kaherman, author of Thinking Fast and Slow, argues The pain of losing is psychologically twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining. That’s why at the end of the day, we make a long and I mean looooooooong list of all of the ways we fell short, all of the things we didn’t accomplish, and all of the ways we might not be good enough for the role we are in. And yet, powerful leaders do the opposite. While we might be inclined to gather evidence of why we are not good enough, leaders challenge that story and gather evidence for their greatness. And that leads me to the likable tool.
3. LEADERS LIKE THEMSELVES.
You read that correctly. Leaders like themselves. That also means that they know themselves. They know what situations are going to put them under high stress. They have strategies for managing those situations. And they use their best qualities in their toughest situations. That’s not to say that leaders don’t make mistakes – they certainly do! But leaders understand that the highest example of a leader is one who can first lead themselves. That’s why emotional intelligence and self-awareness are critical to building lasting confidence. If you don’t know yourself, you can’t know others. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. If you are not confident in yourself, you can’t inspire that in others.
Keep speaking up your story,
ENCORE: MORE TO EXPLORE
A SPEAKER’S INTEGRITY AS THE FOUNDATION FOR CONFIDENCE
Speakers must care about their off-stage presence as much as their on-stage performance. In this video, I address three key elements of a speaker’s off-stage presence. Click on the button below to learn more!
THEN THERE WAS THE TIME I FAKED IT TO BECOME IT…
Then there was the time I faked it until I made it…I mean, BECAME it. Confidence was not about trying to be someone I was not, although it felt like that most days. Confidence was about accepting myself for who I was. Click on the button below to learn more!
