NO TECHNIQUE IS 100% GUARANTEED, BUT TELLING PERSONAL STORIES COMES CLOSE.
– CARMINE GALLO
CONFIDENT COMMUNICATION STARTS WITH SELF-AWARENESS
Confident communication is knowing yourself, knowing your message, and having the courage to share that message with others.
Simple but not easy.
We can continue to learn new tools and practice new habits, which certainly helps. But knowing yourself and knowing your message is a moving target. We continue to grow, and the message we need to deliver also evolves.
Because these two elements continue to change, it is a hit on our confidence. The feeling of unknowing is the biggest pitfall to conjuring courage, especially in high-stakes, high-stress situations.
HERE’S WHY THIS MATTERS:
Psychologist Tasha Eurich wrote in her book Insight that over 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. Surprisingly, you can’t communicate effectively with others unless you communicate effectively with yourself.
Spoiler alert: Most importantly, confident communication stems from personal development.
MIC CHECK: HOW TO BUILD SELF-AWARENESS AND CONFIDENCE
- Take care of your mind. Firstly, be a glutton for content related to your field. Read. Listen. Repeat. Most communication anxiety stems from the I-don’t-know-enough fear. Indeed, you won’t ever know enough about ANYTHING, but equipping yourself with as much knowledge as possible is beneficial. Side lesson: If you don’t like the content related to your field, this may be a telling sign.
- Take care of your heart. Secondly, remember that emotions are integral to communication. Speaking is inherently an emotional act. Therefore, take care of your heart and emotions to discern which ones serve you in the moment and which hold you back. Side lesson: One of the best things I have done for my speaking career is therapy and emotional intelligence work.
- Take care of your body. Thirdly, acknowledge that communication is like an academic sport. No, you are not running marathons, but the stress combined with the adrenaline of high-stakes speaking situations will take its toll. Importantly, you can’t have effective body language if the language of your body indicates failing health. Side lesson: Confident communication is akin to getting in shape. You never really “finish” your training.
Final Thought: Lastly, if you are looking for a GREAT read on persuasion that encompasses civility, check out Thank You For Arguing by Jay Heinrichs.
Keep speaking up your story,
ENCORE: MORE TO EXPLORE
MICS AND MOVIES
A feature of my YouTube channel is Mics and Movies, where I take speeches from famous movies and television shows and break down why they are so effective. This one is one of my favorite Mics and Movies and one of my favorite TV speeches.
SPEAK UP STORY
Then there was the time I was the only introvert in the room full of extroverted speakers.I was part of a training where the facilitator played a version of “This or That.” If you don’t know the game, it is a good icebreaker.
